An Extraordinary Machine

I just got back from a week in Florida.  I missed a TON of posts . . . I was on and off most of the week, but totally fell behind on LJ.  

What did I miss?

I just saw your sad post, Kristin . . . and I'm going to go back and read as much as I can of the rest of you all, but if I missed anything else big, please comment!!

More testing for work, no need to click unless you want to . . . especially if you're not from the USA, that would actually help a bit:  

Link #1

Link #2

Stolen from the birthday girl (bicrim )!

* Don't assume your right to get your rocks off extends any farther than the end of your own hand. The only person in the entire world who owes you sexual release, is you. If you get it from anyone else, it's either a gift, or it's a theft, full stop.

* Don't assume stimulation equals obligation. Just because you can see skin, or hair, or a pretty arse, you don't have any right to inflict your hormones on the owner of said skin, hair, or arse. He or she owes you nothing beyond your right to see what's in front of you.

* Don't assume anger, frustration, or arousal creates any form of excuse for rape. Plenty of people get mad, frustrated, and aroused every day, and they haven't raped anybody.

* The same goes for childhood abuse. If you choose to become a monster, it's still your choice.

* Don't assume opportunity equals permission. Just because you could take sex from someone who is asleep, or passed out, doesn't in any way lessen the fact that you'd be TAKING it. And that is rape, full stop. Even if the person has told you yes in the past. Really it is.

* Don't use drugs, threats, or emotional or social blackmail to enforce compliance with your sexual demands. That is rape, and it makes you a rapist. Don't do it.

* Don't assume silence equals complicity. If you're telling your buddy about what you'd like to do to that ho with the tramp stamp if you could get her outside, and he says nothing in response, it's probably not because he thinks you're cool. He's probably just trying to control his revulsion. Because most men don't actually like the idea of rape, even if their buddies seem to.

* If you're sexing up another human being, and you don't hear a 'yes' from them, then there is a possibility that you do NOT actually have their consent. And that means what you're doing could be rape. Do not proceed until consent is clear, and you've heard that 'yes'.

* If you're sexing up another being who does not have the legal ability to give their consent, such as a child, or an animal, then you are committing a crime, even if they seem keen on it.

* Don't further rape culture by going with the flow, not making waves, or pretending you don't see it. Often, all it takes to stop a sexual assault or a rape, is for an obvious witness to be there, clearly ready to report what happens. For the would-be rapist to realize that he will be remembered when the cops come asking about it. Be the one who doesn't look away. Be the one who doesn't mind your own business. Be the one who helps the girl or boy get away safely that night.

* Don't further rape culture by doubting a victim's claim of rape just because he or she does not show obvious signs of a struggle. That is you saying, in effect, 'the right to not be sexually used does not actually belong to you, you have to win it, and I don't think you tried hard enough, therefore you don't deserve it.'

* Don't pretend rape is funny. Because when it's in your house, there's nothing funny about it. Before you share that joke about rape, picture yourself telling it to a woman in the emergency room, who's being given an exam by a sexual assault nurse. Imagine telling it to the woman's father and mother, or her husband and children, then see if you still think it's funny.

* Don't assume if a person hasn't said 'no', that it means they're consenting. Find out, or back out. Don't wait till later to learn that your partner was too afraid of you to say it wasn't fun, and they wanted you to stop. Because that's rape too.

* Don't pretend you can't stop what you're doing at any point in time. If you were engaged in sex and your partner suddenly produced a knife and wanted to cut your ear off for their own sexual gratification, you'd damn well want to stop things, and if you couldn't make your partner stop, then that would mean YOU had been raped. Well, you can damn well stop things if your partner says 'no, I don't want to, get off me,' and I don't care HOW far along you are.

* Don't pretend that marrying a man or a woman gives you any right to them sexually. Your husband or your wife still has every right to refuse sex if they don't want to have it. And to ignore, or abridge that right is rape. Yes it is.

* Prevent rape by not raping people. Prevent rape by not laying the responsibility for that prevention on the potential victims, or on law enforcement. Prevent rape by recognizing that committing it is never excusable, and is always a crime. Prevent rape by refusing to accept rapist's excuses. Prevent rape by refusing to allow it to be anything BUT rape. 

Self Evident
by Ani Difranco, 2003

yes,
us people are just poems
we're 90% metaphor
with a leanness of meaning
approaching hyper-distillation
and once upon a time
we were moonshine
rushing down the throat of a giraffe
yes, rushing down the long hallway
despite what the p.a. announcement says
yes, rushing down the long stairs
with the whiskey of eternity
fermented and distilled
to eighteen minutes
burning down our throats
down the hall
down the stairs
in a building so tall
that it will always be there
yes, it's part of a pair
there on the bow of Noah's ark
the most prestigious couple
just kickin back parked
against a perfectly blue sky
on a morning beatific
in its Indian summer breeze
on the day that America
fell to its knees
after strutting around for a century
without saying thank you
or please

and the shock was subsonic
and the smoke was deafening
between the setup and the punch line
cuz we were all on time for work that day
we all boarded that plane for it to fly
and then while the fires were raging
we all climbed up on the windowsill
and then we all held hands
and jumped into the sky

and every borough looked up when it heard the first blast
and then every dumb action movie was summarily surpassed
and the exodus uptown by foot and motorcar
looked more like war than anything I've seen so far
so far
so far
so fierce and ingenious
a poetic specter so far gone
that every jackass newscaster was struck dumb and stumbling
over 'oh my god' and 'this is unbelievable' and on and on
and I'll tell you what, while we're at it
you can keep the pentagon
keep the propaganda
keep each and every TV
that's been trying to convince me
to participate
in some prep school punk's plan to perpetuate retribution
perpetuate retribution
even as the blue toxic smoke of our lesson in retribution
is still hanging in the air
and there's ash on our shoes
and there's ash in our hair
and there's a fine silt on every mantle
from hell's kitchen to Brooklyn
and the streets are full of stories
sudden twists and near misses
and soon every open bar is crammed to the rafters
with tales of narrowly averted disasters
and the whiskey is flowin
like never before
as all over the country
folks just shake their heads
and pour

so here's a toast to all the folks who live in Palestine
Afghanistan
Iraq

El Salvador

here's a toast to the folks living on the pine ridge reservation
under the stone cold gaze of mt. Rushmore

here's a toast to all those nurses and doctors
who daily provide women with a choice
who stand down a threat the size of Oklahoma City
just to listen to a young woman's voice

here's a toast to all the folks on death row right now
awaiting the executioner's guillotine
who are shackled there with dread and can only escape into their heads
to find peace in the form of a dream

cuz take away our playstations
and we are a third world nation
under the thumb of some blue blood royal son
who stole the oval office and that phony election
I mean
it don't take a weatherman
to look around and see the weather
Jeb said he'd deliver Florida, folks
and boy did he ever

and we hold these truths to be self evident:
#1 George W. Bush is not president
#2 America is not a true democracy
#3 the media is not fooling me
cuz I am a poem heeding hyper-distillation
I've got no room for a lie so verbose
I'm looking out over my whole human family
and I'm raising my glass in a toast

here's to our last drink of fossil fuels
let us vow to get off of this sauce
shoo away the swarms of commuter planes
and find that train ticket we lost
cuz once upon a time the line followed the river
and peeked into all the backyards
and the laundry was waving
the graffiti was teasing us
from brick walls and bridges
we were rolling over ridges
through valleys
under stars
I dream of touring like Duke Ellington
in my own railroad car
I dream of waiting on the tall blonde wooden benches
in a grand station aglow with grace
and then standing out on the platform
and feeling the air on my face

give back the night its distant whistle
give the darkness back its soul
give the big oil companies the finger finally
and relearn how to rock-n-roll
yes, the lessons are all around us and a change is waiting there
so it's time to pick through the rubble, clean the streets
and clear the air
get our government to pull its big dick out of the sand
of someone else's desert
put it back in its pants
and quit the hypocritical chants of
freedom forever

cuz when one lone phone rang
in two thousand and one
at ten after nine
on nine one one
which is the number we all called
when that lone phone rang right off the wall
right off our desk and down the long hall
down the long stairs
in a building so tall
that the whole world turned
just to watch it fall

and while we're at it
remember the first time around?
the bomb?
the Ryder truck?
the parking garage?
the princess that didn't even feel the pea?
remember joking around in our apartment on avenue D?

can you imagine how many paper coffee cups would have to change their design
following a fantastical reversal of the New York skyline?!

it was a joke, of course
it was a joke
at the time
and that was just a few years ago
so let the record show
that the FBI was all over that case
that the plot was obvious and in everybody's face
and scoping that scene
religiously
the CIA
or is it KGB?
committing countless crimes against humanity
with this kind of eventuality
as its excuse
for abuse after expensive abuse
and it didn't have a clue
look, another window to see through
way up here
on the 104th floor
look
another key
another door
10% literal
90% metaphor
3000 some poems disguised as people
on an almost too perfect day
must be more than poems
in some asshole's passion play
so now it's your job
and it's my job
to make it that way
to make sure they didn't die in vain
sshhhhhh....
baby listen
hear the train?

Or listen online:  http://www.righteousbabe.com/self_evident.mp3

Trying another scenario for work again  . . . click here to learn about accepting credit cards for your business.   

If you feel like playing along, click on that link, then add /thankyou.html at the end of the URL you clicked on, click enter and then okay.  We're testing to see if our new conversion ads are working (ie: only logging if they reach a "thank you" page).  

 

I just finished The Time Traveler's Wife.

This means, of course, that I spent most of the evening in tears.  What a beautiful story.  

It also means we can go see the movie -- I was waiting to finish the book first -- and that I can start a new book (hooray for the 20% off Borders coupon I received today).  I'm debating between Snow Crash and something funny by Christopher Moore.  I'm not sure I can take another serious one quite yet.  This one pretty well consumed me today, and I don't think it's going to let me go very easily.  

Remind me that I need to get back to knitting . . . there are babies coming who need longies, and my kids need xmas plushies.  I'm enjoying reading too much to set it aside, though, right now.  

Any suggestions for a next book?  Something funny?  

We are working on some new stuff at work, trying to test out a pay-per-click system, and just generally putting the whole thing through the motions . . . it's easier for me to post on here than on my work blogs, so feel free to ignore these little posts as they come.  

So, testing, testing, 1, 2, 3 . . . 

Click here to learn more about accepting credit cards for your business.
 

 ( Just finished the fourth book yesterday . . .  )

I need this pattern for use with magic loop or circular needles . . . I want to make Ronin a peanut doll for xmas since he has been crazy about peanuts lately.  Everything is "peanut this" and "peanut that."  It's weird . . . but worth commemorating with a cute knit thingy.  Can anyone convert the pattern for me?

I can turn that into a doll, as there don't seem to be any actual peanut-shaped doll patterns out there.  Surprise, surprise!  

New friends, you came at the right time . . . just in time for a PICTURE POST!  

Ronin had his haircut for the first time, and Rylie lost her first tooth.  

( You know you want to see!!! )

I started reading Twilight on Saturday at the hospital.  Finished it on Sunday around noon, and went to Borders to get the second book when I left the hospital to get lunch.  My mom's neighbor had offered me the whole series (that's where I got the first book), but she told my mom on Saturday that she expected to finish the second one in about a week . . . I didn't want to wait.  

First of all, these books are CRAP.  The writing sucks.  I am so unimpressed.  In fact, going from reading such incredibly well-thought-out, researched, witty books to reading this makes me feel ashamed.  

Second . . . they're fucking addictive.  I just want to keep reading and reading and reading.    

Third, I should never have watched the first movie until I finished the books.  Bella keeps going on (and on and on) about how beeeeyoootiful Edward is, and I keep picturing the guy from the movie, who is (IMO) seriously unattractive.  

I'm halfway through New Moon, and I know I'm going to end up back at the book store later this week.  Damn. 

So yesterday, the lifeguard at the pool asked Ronin if he liked G-Force, and he responded, "Yeahhhh, but I liked the movie with Alan better."

The movie with Alan? That would be The Hangover.

He wasn't even kidding . . . he was laughing so hard at that movie, and very obviously bored by G-Force.

Only one of the many reasons my kid rocks. 

Abortion tomorrow morning at 9am.  I'm nervous that it's going to hurt more than I'm expecting, but otherwise just eager to get in there and get it over with.  

Wish me luck!

 

Ronin has not shut up for the past hour . . . literally . . . he is just talking and talking and talking . . . asking questions and talking some more.  If I don't answer fast enough, it's "Mommy, I'm talking to you!!!!"  If he's talking to the dog, he has to come back and immediately tell me what he said. 

He spent most of the ride home trying to figure out how some people we met at a party last year were related to one another . . . and of course, didn't believe me when I told him, because he's 3 and 3 year olds?  They know it all.  

He's hilarious and I love him to pieces but OMG child you can't possibly have anything left to say!!!  

Now he wants to hunt monsters with our new flashlights.  I'm off. 

I need to take better pics, but in the meantime, heeeeeeeeeeeere's Misfit!

So I'm looking at the google analytics for my website, which I do periodically . . . usually when I am a combination of bored and noticing increased traffic/emails/etc.  

And one of the referring sites led me to a board where this little gem was posted by someone going by the user id HeartofaHippy (who bills herself as a fosterer . . . if I bothered to go through one of the recent adoption threads on booju, I could tell you who it is . . . I'm not that bored):

She chats on another parenting community about all her sexual partners and about her and her main partner looking for people to add to their mix. She also wonders why fathers in her play group have reservations about her main male partner hanging out with their wives and children for play dates. Her claim is that they haven't told them they want to have sex with them so they shouldn't have any reservations!

and

The women in in a multi-partner relationship with both men and women. Not that it makes anyone a bad parent, but I can't see how inviting both Dick & Jane into your bedroom is a healthy example for your kids.

I seriously burst out laughing.  I chat about all my sexual partners?  Please tell me where I can read all about it because it might just be more exciting (and less embarrassing) then the pathetic, one-partner-and-was-a-virgin-til-21 reality that I've posted about openly on LJ and elsewhere.  

Can't wait to tell Mike about this exciting life we're having in someone's imagination!!   A multi-partner relationship with both men and women . . . sounds like our bedroom is a full-on circus!!

Picture post from our adventures at my mom's friend's house today . . .

( Click if you like cute kids and cool birds!! )

I wasn't fast enough to catch the embarrassed look as she stood up and hobbled away, but Mike and I are planning to get some videos soon.